You are Ernie, a local woodsman. You came into the L.L. Bean flagship store in Freeport, Maine for a new pair of boots. Simple enough.
What Happened
You accidentally took a long nap inside a display tent. You just woke up. It is 2:14 AM. Your wife, Ida, is waiting outside in the idling '79 Subaru Brat. She has been waiting a while.
The Problem
The store never closes. Unfortunately, neither do the tourists — Flatlanders from New Jersey and New York who drank too much Starbucks and are buying $400 moose-print pajamas. If you get trapped in a conversation with them, you lose precious time.
The Rules
You have 60 minutes before dawn. Moving between sections costs 5 min.
Getting cornered by a Flatlander costs 10–15 minutes.
Your Dry Wit stat powers wit-roll escapes. Build it up.
Find items — Moxie, Flannel, Maple Syrup — to gain edges.
Get your boots. Get to the Brat. Do not miss morning fishing.
If your timer hits zero, Ida will kill you.
New Mechanics
AYUH CHARGES — You start with 4 pips. Spending one guarantees a clean social escape, no roll needed. They don't refill easily. Use them wisely.
FLANNEL CAMOUFLAGE — Wearing the chamois shirt lets you stand motionless beside the taxidermy moose. Tourists will mistake you for a display. Perfect concealment.
PANIC METER — Every mispronounced town name raises your blood pressure. At high Panic, Ayuh rolls are penalized. At 100, you snap — costly but resets the meter. Chug a Moxie to calm down, but watch for the sugar crash.